Talking is not my bread and butter. Writing, on the other hand, is when I feel like my true self.
I can explain everything eloquently and in the order I want. Some would say it's a more edited version of myself. True, but the medium is also asynchronous, meaning it's not happening at the same time as a conversation, which is when explaining how I feel gets muddied.
In person, I please people way too damn much. A lot of times, I say what they want to hear. This leaves me with a lot of self-esteem issues. It also stifles my creativity.
Writing helps me express how I really feel. This year, I'm focusing on trying to bring print to person. I want to be the person I am when I'm writing. Good or bad. Take it or leave it.
When I stop caring about what others think, I will realize that I'm loved for who I am.
I've abused my body and mind enough--for what? Nobody is benefitting. Turning 25 really made me assess this harmful pattern and realize that it's turning me into someone else.
Every day I'm getting better, for others and for myself.